Yes, that’s right, I’m a chicken S%$*.
Years ago (like middle school we’re talkin’), I developed a fascination with cheesy old horror movies. Not the real, honest to goodness scary ones but things like “The Blob” (no more than bright pink ooze), “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”(oo scary tom-a-toes!) and The Nightmare on Elm St and even the Friday the 13th movies. Those last 2 were a tad scarier but I laughed at their absurdity. Good ‘ol 80’s movie technology.
(Ahh!! watch out it’s THE BLOB!!!..Oh wait, no sorry, it’s just some hair gel hehe)
I think this fascination started as a direct result of having sister much older than me. Ranking in at 9 and 11 years my seniors, my sisters were watching things I had no business seeing…but I snuck watching them anyway because they were.
When Marlaina become possessed on “Days of Our Lives” (a soap my sisters were in lurv with) I would sneak into the room, get yell at and shooed away, and then have nightmares for weeks or simply lay awake at night staring in fear at God knows what scaring myself to death. My sister got in trouble for this. Was it fair? No, but hey, it sucks having a little sister. 😉
You see, we as humans do like to be scared, to frighten ourselves into thinking things could be real. Maybe it’s because we miss our primal urge to run for a good darn reason, I don’t know I’m no scientist (although I like to prented I am from time to time). Me? I was best at this because as the youngest child by far I relied heavily on my wild imagination to keep me entertained. Oh, it worked all right.
I gradually grew tired of scary movies as movie technology began to evolve and they become so much more REAL. They were mentally damaging ,not just visually. They got inside your psyche and hunkered down there for days. My last straw was seeing “The Hills Have Eyes” with my friend Jessie. I was so terrified I couldn’t move to leave and upon walking out of the theater, I promptly threw up and didn’t sleep for days..oh and I cried…a LOT. I was 20 at the time.
(The Hills Have Eyes and they are scary eyes…just don’t do it, promise me you wont do it!)
I no longer trusted horror movies. They weren’t creative or funny anymore, they were sick and disturbing and upsetting. I did enjoy “thrillers” and I was impressed with intelligence and complexity of “The 6th Sense” and simply gobbled up “The Village” and “Firefly” but stayed far away from the movies I knew wouldn’t end well for me (curled up on my bed, eyes bulging, certain that a demon/monster/possessed person was surly on the way down the hall to get me)
About a year ago, I realized you can find entire plot summaries on Wikipedia! Oh happy, happy day! 🙂 I started with the more emotional thrillers I was simply to wimpy to see, movies where I wanted to know what happened, but refused to sit and actually watch. I’m a big movie fanatic but I stay away from anything that will make me cry, period. (Don’t get even get me STARTED on sappy movies!)
I started with movies like “I Am Legend” and “Knowing” and the “Saw” series (too un-necessarily gory for me), even things like “Pan’s Labyrinth” (Which I made a good effort at, but bailed out about 5 minutes in when a guy gets bludgeoned to death with A bottle. Yup I was done right there).
(Pan’s Labyrinth, a study in Guillermo del Toro disturbingly creative mind..I sure wouldn’t want to go rummaging around in there)
Somehow, this was wonderful! I could get the deep meaning of the movie (which admittedly is sometimes lost even when watched), but stay away from actual realistic images that would haunt me. Somehow, reading “so and so’s arm is cut off and then they are shot” is so less traumatizing than actually watching it! This was genius I was sure of it. Especially because you weren’t getting the kind of story and character development you get from a book, this was cut and dry.
Problem was, after delving into the ‘not too scary’ and ‘dramatic’ movies, I got too bold and started on the realllyyy scary stuff like demonic possession, evil spirits and creepy aliens. Movies like “The Last Exorcism”, “Mirrors”, “The Fourth Kind”..uhh I shutter just thinking about them.
You know how you do something, and you know you should while you’re doing it? Like you say, “Self, this isn’t as good idea self! Your going to wish yourself silly that you hadn’t done this self!” Yeah, that’s what I did.
So in conclusion, when I’m in the house at night alone (because Matt is at work) and I inevitably wake up, I have no one to blame but my own stupid self when I ‘see’ a possessed girl crawl up my ceiling and smile at me. No one to blame but myself that I run (literally RUN) away from my mirror when I brush my teeth so I don’t see the spirit of an evil girl standing behind me in my reflection, and no one else is responsibly for me, making sure Matt is still there when I go to sleep because I’m too terrified by my own overactive imagination to brave trying it once he’s gone.
I am a dork and a loser and a total scardy cat….and I’ll just keep doing it. Amen.
I’m so glad we had this talk aren’t you? 🙂